written by Paul Schmitt

King David’s soldiers had won the battle but killed David’s son Absolom. They had saved David and the rest of his family. They had also saved his kingdom. But David cared only about his son. Absalom had hated David, but David still loved him. David covered his face so that he could not see anyone else. He cried loudly so that he could not hear anyone else. He sobbed so hard that his whole body shook. He was in great emotional pain.

When I read this passage, I thought of my mother. I came from a family of four siblings and I remember my mom once saying, “if any of my children died, you may as well bury me too!” I can’t even imagine the pain one goes through after losing a child. A few years back, we had very close friends of ours, who lost their 27 year-old son in a car accident. We attended the same church and were involved in the same ministries. We were very close and socialized frequently. Looking back 13 years ago, it was a very sad time; however during the years that have passed, God has been there for them. A fresh move to Texas, a new job opportunity in the ministry, and a stronger faith for them all have come to pass. There is a total awareness that they will see their son again. God never left them to mourn alone. He was always there providing love and understanding as they walked through this crisis. We had lunch with this couple last month and they are doing very well. You can never remove the heartache that they have both gone through but you do walk away with the knowledge and the faith that God truly loves us and is always there to comfort us in difficult times. Our dear friends are proof of that.

David should have met his soldiers as they returned from the battle. They had been brave and loyal. They were happy because they had won the battle and David should have praised them. But when they saw David’s reaction, they felt guilty about Absalom. And they felt as if they were worth nothing to David.

Joab, the commander of David’s great army, knew he was risking the king’s displeasure by criticizing him, but he saw what had to be done. Joab told David that there would be dreadful consequences if he didn’t commend the troops for their victory. Joab was angry with the king and he spoke very strongly to him. He showed that the king had insulted his men. Joab even told the king what to do. He knew that the soldiers were ready to leave David before that night and that would have been disastrous for him. David was very sad about his son. But, David was still the king. He had to do what was right for everyone in the country. And he had to act quickly before the situation got worse. Joab’s actions are a helpful example to us when personal confrontation is necessary. At times, we must reprove those in authority over us. Joab was a true friend to David. We must also be willing to take personal risks to confront a friend in love, when we feel it is necessary. A wise person, (such as David); will accept strong advice from a friend who really cares. David’s emotions were sometimes inappropriate, loving those whom he should have hated (Absalom) and hating those whom he should have loved (his troops). These emotions were common to father and son, both of whom committed serious injustices. David, after speaking with Joab, sat at the gateway (city gate) because during that time, it was where business was conducted and judgment was rendered. This is what the people needed to see, him sitting as King in the place of authority. His presence there showed that he was over his mourning and back in control. This told them that their sacrifice was worth it, that it was appreciated, and that King David would continue to reign. Joab’s rebuke worked because he cared enough to make it work and David was wise enough to receive it. Again the greatest commandment “love” has prevailed!

A fellow traveler, Paul