It is a hard truth, but one that I am learning to accept. I am just not going to get there all at once. As hard as I try, I can’t arrive in a single try. It took trying to run again after a year off, first with a torn ligament last Fall and then breaking my foot back in the Spring for me to get it. I went from running thirteen miles every Saturday to limping around, not something that is really great for the ego. However, I just knew that getting going again wouldn’t be hard, at least that is what I thought. The guy at the YMCA probably thought I was going to have a coronary the first mile I ran on the treadmill at half my normal speed. It was in between gasps and trying not to fall off the back of the treadmill, all the while making the little old lady next to me look like a speedster that I realized, I am not going to do this all at once. This is going to take some time. Now, some two months later, I am strong, faster, and running longer. Yet, I am still not back. I still have not arrived. It really doesn’t come all at once.

I get that about running, but I wonder how often I don’t get it about following Jesus. I can’t tell you how often I have read something in Scripture, heard a truth in a sermon, or even caught a glimpse of the life God has for me in prayer and said, “That shouldn’t be too hard.” I start out, headed for the life God has for me, that good and beautiful life. Somewhere about 30 minutes in I find myself gasping for breath, ready to fall off the back end of the spiritual treadmill. Then falling off and sitting on my spiritual rump the thought crosses my mind that perhaps I am a failure, perhaps I will never get this following Jesus thing. Maybe I am just not cut out for living the life Jesus has for me. More than likely, God isn’t all that pleased because once more I have tried and been found wanting.

What doesn’t cross my mind is the thought that maybe I am not going to get there all at once. It seems, at least in my mind, that I should. Am I not supposed to arrive? Am I not supposed to love my wife and kids perfectly on the first try? Doesn’t one of the commandments say somewhere, “Thou shalt get it, and get it on the first try”? Can’t I just be a great community group member, an awesome friend, a faithful follower of Jesus simply because I have set my mind to it? Sounds good and right to me. So, it befuddles me when I find myself clutching the handlebars and swatting for the emergency stop button. Maybe we aren’t supposed to get there all at once. Maybe it comes slowly, in life, in our groups, in our homes. Maybe God didn’t intend for us to arrive, but rather He intends for us to turn to Him and trust Him to get us there, on His time and not ours. Maybe He isn’t displeased at all but smiles in love at our feeble attempts to arrive knowing that we are but dust, frail fragile creatures in need of Him. And, smiling as we flail about, He helps us swat the stop button.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 103.13-14 (TNIV)

A fellow traveler,

Blake

Spiritual Formation Pastor